From value-adds to networking superconductor: how the weird language of tech dulled sport

Tech investors promise to disrupt everything from padel to basketball, but their pitch-deck jargon is slowly draining the humanity from sport itself

Finally, a sector more ludicrously hyped than AI. Speaking to Yahoo Sports recently about the launch of Project B, a startup global women’s basketball league, co-founder Grady Burnett declared that “women’s basketball is growing right now as fast as AI”. Come again? There’s no question that women’s basketball is growing nicely, a development that we should all cheer: this year’s WNBA season was the most watched ever. But it is testing credulity to suggest that the sport is growing at anything like the same speed as AI, which since 2022 has gone from the technological margins to the very center of the US economy: by some reports, AI spending accounted for half of the growth in US GDP in the first half of this year. Perhaps I’m missing the real story here and the Federal Reserve is actively keeping tabs on attendance figures at Washington Mystics v Golden State Valkyries games for signs of potential overheating in the US economy. But it seems unlikely.

Claims like Burnett’s are par for the course in the hyperventilating world of sports investment, in which new leagues intent on world domination are launched seemingly every week and the pitches, delivered at investment conferences by slick men with gleaming teeth and spotless sneakers, grow more and more clammily self-satisfied by the hour. Burnett’s league, which he co-founded with former Skype co-founder Geoff Prentice, was briefly associated with Maverick Carter and LeBron James over the summer but that pair now seems to have been removed from the picture, and the league is emerging from “stealth mode”, to use a wormy bit of tech jargon, as the pure, uncut essence of bored Silicon Valley rich guy calculation. In a crowded field, Project B may be the most insanely overcaffeinated, tech bro-addled pitch for a new sports league yet.

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